


you were a kindness

by imaginedecember



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 07:08:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginedecember/pseuds/imaginedecember
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray memorized combinations and techniques in order to conquer games but JJ was a game that he had never dealt with before. JJ was different then anything he was used to. Keep mashing buttons, he told himself. Put it down and try it again a day or so later, he tried. But nothing gave him the answer of what JJ even was. JJ looked at life through a viewfinder. He found beauty in the old and the eclectic. He loved sets and projection screens. But to put Ray behind that projection screen, to have those eyes and smile trained on him made him disappear behind the lens. But when the camera boy finally trains his eye on the gamer and the gamer finds the right button to push, will the darkness of loneliness that had been surrounding them for years finally lift?</p>
            </blockquote>





	you were a kindness

**Author's Note:**

> This is a highschool au that is rated M for a reason. There is sexual content and if sexual content is something you are not feeling, then do not read this story. There is also swearing which may be uncomfortable for some people so watch out for that. Also, the title of this work is not mine. It is the title of the song You Were a Kindness by The National.

He saw life through a viewfinder. He could zoom in however many times he desired. He could focus on the details or the overall picture. The world surrounding him was his to capture but the one thing that had eluded his grasp was Ray Narvaez Jr. 

It was not age that had restricted him from merely speaking to the boy. No, it was the pulsating need to not speak to the boy. The sentence in JJ’s mind made little sense outside of his thoughts but it was true. 

He did not want to speak to him but something more than that. He wanted to converse with Ray. Nothing but his voice could soothe him. Late night conversations with him was vital. Just to hear him talk to him in the middle of the early morning about family, friends or whatever kept him awake or mad or passionate. It was essential to see Ray light up in his presence. 

To see that smile. 

To hear him speak. 

To feel the taste of his words. 

To see into that heart that he had locked up tight. 

Bursting through those walls, though, meant succumbing himself. It was a two way street. And JJ was a wanderer, looking for the entrance to the one way road. But Ray wasn’t on that one way road, only his lown onely soul. 

He was utterly hopeless. 

Sighing heavily underneath his breath, JJ tucked away those petty thoughts and shoved them into the shadows for another day. Tracing his fingers along the curve of the camera nestled safely in the dip of his palm, he smiled before turning it to the hallways surrounding him. 

It was after school had let out. Students were either rushing to the bus or their cars in order to get home before a parent or sibling scolded them for being late. Then there were the stragglers, who were either waiting for someone or just anything in general. JJ was one of those who stayed behind because in those moments where school was no longer a priority, people let themselves go a bit more. 

Focusing the lens, JJ gazed through the viewfinder. Girls and boys alike glanced his way, some staring for a little longer. Admiring, questioning, wondering. He could detect each change in their eyes. Some eyes shimmered, others narrowed. When he captured someone’s attention for more than a mere second, he spoke to them in a soft voice. 

"Hey, you’re looking beautiful today. I bet you have a beautiful smile, dear." His words were gingerly spoken. With each word said, the girl that had stared at him in curiosity for a minute smiled so wide that it made the dimple carved into her left cheek appear. Her long wavy chestnut brown hair traced her cheeks perfectly. Pressing his finger on the trigger, JJ snapped a picture. "Thank you. Have a nice day."

He did not have to know her name nor she did not have to know his. Sometimes it just took a compliment to make someone walk that much more confidently. And she had a tantalizing sway to her hips and an adorable crinkle at the corner of her eyes whenever she smiled for real. He prayed that some guy or girl would come along in her life and cherish that part of her. 

His fingers twitched as he clicked through the pictures to get to hers. Nodding to himself, he really hoped that someone loved her as much as she should be loved because she had one warm smile. Not as warm or wide as Ray’s though. 

And there JJ went again. 

He swore that he had met a demon on a crossroads and sold his soul to Ray. If only Ray had done the same. Shaking those thoughts from his mind, JJ lifted the camera back to his eye and moved the camera until he found the exact boy that he was speaking of. 

He nearly froze when he saw Ray and his friend, Geoff, speaking to each other by the front doors of the school. Geoff was holding hands with his girlfriend of two years, Griffon. JJ had actually seen Griffon before Geoff because she was one of the girls that he had photographed. 

Most girls had young faces with soft curves but she had a more hardened jaw line that made her appear wiser and maybe in the future, motherly. But a bad ass mother to say the least. He always wanted to give the picture to Geoff to keep for himself but he knew that the senior would see him as the creepiest thing around. 

As he watched the three converse, Griffon made a comment that made Geoff and Ray laugh. Geoff was covering his mouth and scratching at his incoming beard. Ray was holding his stomach, laughing in that strange way that he did. He almost laughed towards the ground as if the ground deserved to see his widened smile and shimmering eyes. 

JJ was snapping a picture before he could stop himself. Growling underneath his breath, JJ knew that this had to stop. It was wrong to pine after Ray like a demon watching its prey, torturing their victim with every stare.

Spinning on his heel, JJ rushed down the hallway towards the library. Pushing the doors open, he strapped his camera to the lanyard that hung over his neck. Swinging it gingerly back and forth, JJ wanted to throw up. His hands were shaking as he found his regular table shoved in the back corner by the history section where the least amount of people wandered. 

Throwing his bag on to the worn surface, he inhaled deeply and calmed his frayed nerves. He already had a cigarette at lunch and he was low on the pack that he had in his pocket. But that smile. And the picture. God, what was he doing with his life? 

"Hey, JJ," a gruff, familiar voice spoke. 

Turning around, JJ froze when his eyes met none other then Geoff Ramsey. The senior was staring at him with an unreadable expression. There was no trace of his usual half smirk which meant that JJ was in trouble, that Geoff had saw him, that Geoff knew. 

"Listen, Geoff. I’m really sorry. I have a peace offering, though! You’ll probably think it’s creepy but you probably already think of me as creepy. Others do. Why wouldn’t you?" JJ rambled nervously. Gripping his camera, he turned it back on from sleep mode and switched through the photos until he came across Griffon’s. "I didn’t get it printed yet but I figured you should see it before I do and-."

"Kid," Geoff paused, laughing underneath his breath as his hand came to rest on the junior’s shoulder. "I just always see you wherever Ray is and I see how you look at him. That look was the same look I gave Griffon back when I first met her. I just wanna know your intentions." JJ rose one eyebrow at the senior, his hands gripping his camera like a security blanket. 

"My intentions?" 

Geoff furrowed his eyebrows, frowning. 

"Seriously? No thoughts about wanting to do whatever the fuck your brain thinks of to Ray? Nothing? Huh, my gaydar must be way the fuck off." Shaking his head, Geoff ran a hand through his hair and shrugged to himself. When he was wrong, he was wrong. 

"Uh…no," JJ mumbled. Geoff clapped his hands together. His smile was so wide that it threw JJ off. 

"Great! Because goddamn, you and Ray would be amazing together. Griffon was the first to notice though. She has an eye for those things," Geoff spoke. JJ stared at the older boy before slowly showing him his camera. 

"I took this of Griffon. I thought you’d want it," JJ murmured. "Like a peace offering. I’m sorry for staring at Ray. I’ll try to stay away from him," he added. Geoff glanced from JJ to his camera. He did not comment though. Ray’s relationships and what he did with his dick was certainly not his problem. All he would was push them in the right direction. 

"You’re cool to stare. Just ask permission and all that before you ask him out," he finally said as he took the camera from JJ’s grasp. His eyes narrowed at the photo before he smiled in a soft, tender way that left JJ feeling uncomfortable. He had never seen a boy stare at someone like that before, like they were their whole entire world. "This is really good. What’d you do to get her to smile like that?" There was an odd air of sarcastic jealousy to his voice but JJ told him anyway. 

"I told her she looked beautiful. I like taking pictures of all sorts of people when I tell them that because they get this really nice smile that shows so much of what they try to hide," JJ explained. Geoff glanced upwards at the flustered junior. 

"I think you have a real talent, kid, and hey I wish you luck and I want this picture as soon as possible," Geoff commended, handing the camera back to its rightful owner. JJ murmured a quiet ‘thank you’ before Geoff was waving and leaving the library. 

Now he really needed a smoke because Geoff had given him permission to stare after Ray like some vulture. He was probably kidding. There was no way someone who could easily snap him in half would allow such a thing. Shaking his head, JJ gripped his camera tightly and peered at his pants pocket. A cigarette would be the best thing right now. Screw the rules he put in himself. He needed something to quell the hurricane in his mind. 

Grabbing his bag, he threw it over his shoulder and raced towards the library doors. Pushing them open, he let them slam behind him. Running towards the courtyard in the middle of the school building, he tucked himself into the corner of the wall surrounding the courtyard. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out the crumpled pack and fumbled for the cancer stick. Flicking at his lighter, he waved the flame along the tip of the stick. Smiling in relief when it caught, he pressed the other end into his mouth. 

Sucking at the nicotine soaked fibers, he leaned back against the wall. Smoke poured from his lips as he thought of the boy who haunted him. Ray strangely had meant everything to him. He knew it was a curse when he realized that their schedules intermingled too much for it to be normal. His classes were in the same hallway as his, excluding multimedia and study hall. 

It was during those times that JJ had taken everything that Ray had made him feel that day and poured it into his videos. His teacher had spoken to him after class many times, wondering where his passion had come from and how could JJ tell him that sometimes the deepest of passions can come from feeling such a tender need for someone unattainable?

Right now was one of those times. He sucked on the nicotine that flowed down his throat, inhaling deeply and nearly groaning when the fog had filled his lungs. It soothed his frayed nerves, made him lean back and rest his brain from those petty thoughts full of unrequited love. 

If he had tilted his head at just the right angle, he would have seen that one boy who had been plaguing him for weeks standing mere inches away from him. Ray was lost in his thoughts too except he had nothing to quell them. Well, gaming was what calmed him down but he was still in school, having nothing better to do but walk around as Geoff finished up a project for one of his classes. 

Leaning against the doors to the library, Ray watched as JJ’s eyes fluttered shut. He had never seen a typical bad boy at peace. It was a rare occurrence and Ray felt like he needed to document it. A rebel child basking in the hazy sun? A calm rebel child nonetheless. He never knew it was possible but anything with JJ was possible. He was still the typical bad boy, though. 

That’s what Ray wanted to say but his words tumbled out of his brain and exploded into thin air. He would never say that it was the way that JJ had quirked his lips in a crooked kind of smile or the way that demon cancer stick dangled from his lips that had him stuttering. No, there was no way. So instead of stating what was supposed to be a simple observation, he declared his morals. 

Smoking was wrong, poisonous. It killed you and others. Yes, that was perfect. He certainly never heard that before. And that was where Ray became stuck. He made up his mind when JJ tapped the ambers against the cement and pressed the tip of the cigarette back into his mouth, wrapping his lips around it and inhaling the toxins like he was a drowning man gasping for purified air. 

Pressing the toes of his ratty checkered converse into the grass, Ray moved towards the junior with purpose. It was like a spark. Like the flicker of the black lighter resting on JJ’s knee, Ray walked until he was standing in front of the other. 

JJ sat like someone who couldn’t care how he was perceived. He didn’t care about manners. Leaning his back against the brick wall behind him, JJ lifted his head. When he saw Ray, he wasn’t stunned. He was not close enough to detect new things about his face or the rest of his body. No, he was frozen from being so close to him. He was within speaking and touching distance. 

Shoving those thoughts down, he ran a hand through his black hair and graced Ray with a soft smile that he hoped would not show how nervous he was. Resting his arms on his left knee, he pulled it forward to hold it against his chest. Deeming the spot in front of the older boy as his, Ray dropped his bag on the ground and sat down. 

“Stop smoking.” 

It was all that Ray could manage to say before clearing his throat and shaking out his nerves. This was important to him and JJ was to listen. 

“Or what it’ll cause cancer? Listen, Ray, I know that but it’s all I got besides the dream of owning a bike.” JJ was there once again to surprise Ray. 

With the younger boy so close, JJ wanted to get away from him as soon as possible before he gave into the burn coursing through him. He needed to offend him in some way, to get him so far away that he would never be able to lay eyes on him again. But Ray was bolder now. He knew the taste of his words and how to convince someone on to his side of things. He would stay until JJ listened. 

“I would love to give you something for trying like some shitty star sticker but it’s important you live. You don’t-.” That was when JJ let go of his knee, knocking his foot into Ray’s. His gaze was almost forgiving as he frowned. This was where he had to push away the kid. He had to give up on the one thing he would never have. 

“And you do? We both see each other on campus all the time. Now, let’s keep it to seeing. It’ll make it easier.” 

If Ray knew that JJ did a little more than just passively seeing Ray, JJ would not only be a rebel child but a creepy one that hangs out in back alleys. And that wasn’t what JJ was. He may not be kind but he wasn’t cruel in the creepy sense. 

Of course he assumed he would be labeled that for watching over Ray but that was simply how he cared. He cared through observing and from that, he deducted reasonings behind what he saw. How could he ever explain that to anyone let alone Ray? He couldn’t even explain it to Geoff and he had given him permission even. 

“Make what easier?” It would have shocked JJ that he got that reaction from the Puerto Rican but again, he had been staring at Ray as if he was an expensive camera that he could never afford. 

Ray was curious. Too curious for his own good. He was always trying to master a concept and JJ was one of the hardest games he ever came across. There was something about him that told him he was angry, uncaring, and yet sad beyond measure. 

He was a paradox, a game with multiple controls and the buttons for them were always changing. The scenery was different too. Everything was. Day in, day out Ray would notice something different. Simple or not, it drew him to JJ. 

“Just high school life in general.” JJ’s lips twitched at his pathetic response. Shoving his cigarette into his mouth, he sucked on the nicotine until Ray was glowering at him. He arched one eyebrow, coaxing Ray into making him talk or quite smoking. Ray‘s eyes narrowed for a split second before yanking at the older boy’s fingers. Gripping them tightly, he smiled in triumphant when the cigarette landed on the ground between them. “Too cute. You forgot these.” Waving the crumpled pack in the air, JJ allowed himself to smirk. The little upturn of his lips made Ray jump forward. 

He moved his hands from the junior’s wrist, sliding his fingers upwards into the palm of his hand where the cancerous treasure was. Yet at the last moment, JJ moved out of the way. Moving his body to the right, he managed to kick Ray in the side. When his foot made contact with Ray’s ribs, Ray collapsed against his stomach and legs. 

"Goddamn it, JJ," Ray growled. JJ inhaled deeply, the movement of his diaphragm moving Ray’s head along with it. JJ had little time to prepare himself before Ray slid up his body, his palms resting on the concrete and his body fitting against his. "Give me the pack," he spoke. His voice was soft, breathy. JJ picked his head up, his eyes burning into Ray’s. 

"Make me," he demanded. Ray tilted his head to the side. His fingers twitched against the warm skin of JJ’s wrist. Dipping his fingers underneath the black leather of the older boy’s gloves, Ray could barely hold in a gasp. 

JJ’s tan skin was warm against the leather. Slipping his fingers from underneath the glove, he dragged his fingers down JJ’s wrist, pressing his fingernails against the pulse point and the veins that protruded. Gnawing on his bottom lip, he allowed himself to lean that few inches extra. 

There was supposed to be a point to this. He was supposed to smooth his fingers across the palm of the glove and knock the cigarette pack from JJ’s grasp. But that wasn’t what he was thinking about. He was thinking of the cigarettes, yes, but not how they were bad but how their bitter taste swam around him like an alluring fog. The fog was enveloping his mind, making his heart stutter to a pause. 

Desire was a cruel mistress and it was pumping itself through his veins. It made him react with a hunger that could not be sated. It brought about the deepest depths of his heart. Oh, desire was a pandora’s box and Ray wanted nothing more than to open it, to give in to temptation.

Ray would blame it on his hormones. He would blame it on the fact that he was a teenage boy and he simply never thought of the bad things that could come from his actions. But Ray knew deep down why he opened that damn box. Because JJ was on the other side of it. 

Days, weeks spent staring at the cameraman from the multimedia class whenever he happened to be in the hallway because of lab day in english. 

Days, weeks wondering what it would be like to have JJ photograph him in one of his creative experiments. 

Days, weeks wondering what it would take for JJ to set that camera down and turn those deep brown eyes towards his. 

Brown. It wasn’t mud. It was chocolate, bitter and sweet. Bitter from the cigarettes and the smell of leather and his broken down car. Sweet from the musky scent of his cologne and the strange alluring mixture of cinnamon and the woodsy smell of burning ambers that dripped from the end of his cigarettes. 

His tanned skin, his eyes, his hands. God, everything was making Ray open that damn box. He had never openly thought about JJ but here he was now, able to think about it all. As he came crashing back to Earth, he realized that his lips were still molded against JJ’s. His thin pink lips were resting against his in a barely there kiss. JJ wasn’t moving. He was simply breathing, in and out, unknowingly moving Ray too. 

Pulling back, Ray understood the weight of opening a box and discovering the repercussions. He had ruined it. Lowering his head, Ray lifted his hands from JJ’s wrist and returned them to the concrete. The concrete was too cold and JJ was too warm. He had to leave now. Geoff’s project would be over by now and he was waiting. He had to leave. 

"This was never about the cigarettes I’m guessing?"

His words made Ray lift his head. What he saw made his jaw clench. JJ was splayed below him. He had one leg pulled up and tucked against Ray’s side. His arms were crossed against his chest and his eyes were wide. And those eyes of his cradled Ray’s own in a vice grip. 

Nodding to himself, JJ smiled brightly. Giggling underneath his breath, he shook his head and threw the cigarette pack to the side. He had permission and he had Ray. He could do this. Slowly sitting up, he wrapped his arms around Ray’s waist and held him in his lap. 

"Just one touch from you, Ray, and I swear…," he trailed off. His words became frozen inside his head as he basked in the glow of Ray’s flushed cheeks and dimmed eyes. 

Ray was a strange kind of Heaven to him. JJ believed in guardian angels, sure, but he didn’t truly believe in Heaven. Not until he saw Ray in this state. He watched Ray’s hands twitch from nerves, nerves that he had caused. He watched Ray’s brown eyes slowly ravish him and he couldn’t help but to grip Ray’s chin in his gloved hand and pull him closer. 

"What about cigarettes?" Ray asked, raising one eyebrow. JJ shook his head as he leaned forward to a press a kiss to each eyebrow and then the tip of his ear. Breathing on the curve of Ray’s lips, he smiled softly. 

"Come with me to my car," JJ suggested. Leaning back, he watched Ray’s expression change to something of bewilderment. Ray tilted his head to the side, lowering his gaze before reaching for JJ’s hand. Pressing his fingers into the protruding bones of JJ’s knuckle, he slowly nodded. 

"Don’t be a bitch about this and let’s go," Ray said. JJ nodded, crossing his heart. 

"I swear on my camera and my future bike that I won’t," he spoke. Rolling his eyes, Ray slowly stood, using JJ for leverage for his knees were still shaking from being so close to the boy that he thought he would never even talk to. "Come on my Puerto Rican babe," he said as he stood after Ray. Grabbing the pack of cigarettes from the bush that he threw them in, he smiled at the fuming boy beside him. 

"Well, hey if I’m that then you’re my Hispanic Hoe," Ray commented. 

"And you’re my Zombie Train."

"Does that mean I run after you or do you run after me? Either way, you’re the prettiest pornographer around."

"You run after me like the wittle puppy that you are. And damn right I’m the prettiest. ‘Course you are quite the All Powerful Master of Button Mashing."

"Button mashing, huh? That a metaphor for something? Well, if I’m that then you’re the director of this so called button mashing."

"If I’m the director, does that make you one of those whiny actors that beg for my attention?"

"Beg? Honey, I don’t beg."

"I’ll have you begging here in a second."

Before Ray could respond, JJ had unlocked his car and opened the back door. Throwing his keys on the front seat, JJ grabbed Ray’s hand and interlaced their fingers together. The feel of the cool black faux leather on Ray’s scorching skin soothed him. 

"Show the director what you can do," JJ whispered. His words were tender, curling around Ray’s ear and making him shudder. He had never thought that he would be saying those words to Ray or even have Ray this close to him. The maelstrom of emotions that had chained him before were snapping in half and Ray was the one with the key. 

"You seriously gonna make me show you in the back seat of your car in a school parking lot?" It was not the ideal situation for the younger boy and it made his nerves jump around at the thought of loosing his virginity in the strangest of places but it was JJ holding on to him. It was JJ tenderly taking care of him and he would do anything for the boy that had made him loose way too many rounds of halo with Geoff for it to be normal for him. 

"You said I was the prettiest, not the classiest." JJ winked at Ray before pushing him gingerly on to the back seat. Swinging the door shut, he moved until he was face to face with Ray. "Just focus on me." It was the oddest combination of words and it was really hard to concentrate with a seat belt digging into his back but Ray couldn’t help but bite his lip at those words. If he was able to, he would only focus on JJ. 

Speaking of him, his warm fingers pressed into his hip bone, pulling him down a bit and snapping him from his thoughts. Once Ray was settled against him, he trailed his hands up his stomach. He teased his shirt up a bit to his belly button. Bending down, he lightly kissed the tanned expanse of skin presented to him. Shivering against his hold, Ray whined underneath his breath. 

"Be patient, darling," JJ whispered softly. His tone of voice was so low that Ray had to use all of his power to focus on it. His voice blended with the silence, creating a strange cocoon around them that left Ray needing more. 

"You said I was a whiny actor remember?" Ray said. Shaking his head, JJ’s fingers scratched at the smooth skin of Ray’s stomach. The feel of the rough leather was too much for Ray as his body began squirming. JJ pressed his hands against his chest, frowning as Ray arched against him. Feeling the muscle twitch underneath his touch, JJ smirked. 

"Squirmy and whiny? Bad combination," he said. Reaching over Ray, he seized the seat belt that was digging into Ray’s back. Wrapping his hands around the belt, he pulled Ray’s hands up until he was able to tie the belt around his wrist. Yanking at the restraints, Ray could not help but moan softly. The restraints were digging into his skin but it kept him grounded, kept him sane as JJ’s hands returned to the bend of his hipbone. "Is this too much? I know it’s probably your first time. It’s mine too. I just thought…with how you responded to my gloves that-."

"Hey, director shut the fuck up and do something," Ray growled, interrupting JJ’s ramblings. His wrists were nearly raw from yanking at the restraints. JJ had shattered something inside of him and he needed JJ to drink in the remains of what was left. 

JJ paused, his fingers twitching over the younger boy’s hipbone. Nodding to Ray’s demand, he dipped his head and smiled a crooked kind of smile that left Ray nearly breathless. He was not prepared though for JJ’s intentions. 

Using his hold on Ray’s hips as leverage, JJ pushed himself upwards until he was sitting on Ray’s upper thighs. With one hand dancing along the hem of Ray’s jeans, JJ used his free hand to card through his hair. The black leather was like static. It ignited a spark with JJ’s black hair and refused to let go, making the soft pieces of hair rest at an odd angle. 

Ray’s hands wrenched at the seat belt, now loathing the fact that he was under JJ’s total and utter control. Yet it was a slow burn that eased through his belly. Like the cigarettes, he was being sucked into everything that was JJ. 

His mind was snapped back into reality when JJ’s gloved hand slipped inside his own mouth. Groaning, Ray couldn’t help but squirm as the older boy’s tongue flattened against the seam of the glove. Dragging the muscle around the tip of his gloved finger, JJ moaned. It was a deep rumble that left Ray captivated underneath him. 

"I wish this was you, Ray. I really do," he said. His voice was destroyed, scratchy and rough like whenever he had too many cigarettes in one day. He never knew that Ray could do this to him. He was never this bold, this strange mix between dominate and needy. He was always dominate, always the one to control and he never truly was dealt pleasure like Ray was doing to him. 

By Ray just watching him, JJ wanted to throw everything to the wind. He had Ray beneath him and he had never been so lost inside a hurricane of desire. He had never been so sure of the need burning through him. And he needed Ray. More than nicotine, more than anything. He needed Ray. He needed this new thrilling high. 

"Untie me," Ray spoke. His voice was low, demanding. And he was talking out of the side of his mouth again. It was something that JJ had once found adorable but now he wanted to sink his tongue into that upturned curve of his lips and suck at his lip until it was so swollen that he couldn’t even smile at him. 

Teething at the seam of his gloves, JJ tugged until his fingers were free. Spitting out the sweat stained glove, he did the same with the other and threw them both to the side. Leaning down, he pressed his hips into Ray’s. 

Resting all of his weight on the bulge in the younger boy’s jeans, he reached for the seat belt and ripped at the cloth and nylon pack of strings until Ray’s hands were free. As soon as he dropped his hands, Ray was digging his fingers into his jaw. 

Inhaling deeply, Ray pressed his lips against the thin curve of JJ’s lips. JJ breathed through his nose, pressing closer. He could feel Ray’s breath on his, mingling in his mouth and around his cheeks. The smell of him was everywhere. It was the smell of musk and linen and something distinctly Ray that made him want to taste him, every inch of him. 

Long, slender fingers traced the curve of his cheeks until the palm of his hand was lying flat against the skin. His palm was warm and sweaty. It should have him wanting to scramble backwards, kick open the door and run but it actually made JJ feel warm inside. 

Ray was sweating over the situation of being with JJ like this. He made the boy nervous and burn with pleasure. It was the only reaction that mattered to JJ and if it came in slick drips of sweat, he would revel in the meaning behind it. 

Those same fingers suddenly danced into his hair. One sharp tug made him gasp. JJ’s belly pooled with enough warmth to rival the sun’s. Aching, his hands slipped towards Ray’s shoulders. His fingernails dug into the cloth of his shirt, scratching at the fabric until his fingernails found purchase in his tanned skin. 

With his mouth opened to him, Ray sucked at JJ’s bottom lip before seeking the tantalizing heat of the older boy’s mouth. It was languid honey, a dulcet drug that he was becoming addicted to. They rested there, tongues teasing the other and tasting every last inch that was presented to them. 

Ray tasted like mint from the gum that he always chewed after math. It helped calm down his ravaged brain more often then not. He also tasted like syrupy carbonation from the soda that he must have downed before heading outside to speak to him. He needed more of that surgery syrupy taste. He needed it in his veins like an anchor. 

JJ’s taste made Ray stutter and pause. He tasted bitter. The nicotine that coated his gums, teeth and tongue was like a second skin. There was one time where he kissed someone right after they drank and it left him in a whirlwind of flashbacks to nights spent cleaning up broken bottles and glass from the plates in the kitchen.

It left him feeling wretched and useless. It left him feeling like his father was violating him beyond the usual verbal insults. Ray swore that he would never kiss someone who poisoned themselves like that because poison went both ways. But when he kissed JJ, he tasted like cigarettes and coffee. 

French vanilla. So sweet like ice cream. It made Ray tangle his tongue with JJ’s, tugging at the muscle and sucking at the cream that was ingrained in his taste buds. It enticed him and made him keen at the fervor of that damned taste. JJ couldn’t help but press his hands against Ray’s back, pulling him impossibly closer. 

Their noses squished together as they burned for air. Breaking a part, JJ gasped. His lungs were panting, trying desperately to grasp at any clean air he could get. But the air was saturated with the fog of their breaths and the heat of their skin. The scent of Ray and the taste of his mouth was pushing him off a cliff and into free fall. 

And it was too hot. Being in a car with Ray was like being in a tanning bed. Tugging at the buttons of his leather jacket, he frowned when his hands fumbled over the snaps. 

"Here, let me," Ray’s voice spoke. JJ nearly jumped when his slender fingers wrapped around his own, pushing them aside and unsnapping the buttons for the older boy. Slipping his fingers underneath the jacket, Ray pushed the jacket down his arms. Moving his arms to the side, JJ tugged the jacket off of his arms. "A sweatshirt too? Are you stupid?" His scolding made JJ giggle breathlessly. Ray smiled, kissing his cheek. "I love your cheeks when you smile. I just wanna pinch them all day."

"Stop it," JJ murmured, staring into Ray’s determined eyes as the younger boy unzipped his hoodie and slipped it off his shoulders with ease. JJ’s muscles flexed as Ray’s fingers danced across the curve of his elbow and along his shoulders. His shoulder’s weren’t broad or bulky. They curved down at the perfect angle, just enough for Ray to be able to rest his hands there comfortably. 

JJ’s bony fingers slid down to Ray’s stomach, toying with the hem of his t-shirt again. Understanding the hint, Ray grabbed the collar of his t-shirt and yanked at the fabric until the t-shirt was no longer confining him. 

Throwing it over the passenger seat, he frowned when he saw that JJ was still wearing a white tank t-top. The white did wonders against his skin. Like the black leather of his gloves, it made his skin stand out and it made his eyes impossibly darker. 

Smiling a cryptic kind of side smile, Ray moved his hands until they were cradling the back JJ’s neck. His hands were large enough to grab his neck and tilt it upwards to the ceiling of the car. 

Attaching his lips to the older boy’s collarbone, Ray breathed on to the skin before gliding the flat of his tongue against the scorching skin. JJ tasted salty like sweat and fumes from his cigarettes. It was a different taste than his mouth and it made Ray nearly hysterical. 

Mewling, JJ threw his head back and panted into the humid air. Ray’s fingers twitched as the muscles of the older boy’s neck throbbed against his hold. JJ’s mouth fell open as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. He tried to mesmerize every nip of his tongue and every graze of his teeth but there was too much languid heat that he could barely register anything besides the wetness on his neck. 

"Goddamn, Ray, please," he whined. 

"Now look whose the whiny actor," Ray murmured, his words biting into JJ’s skin. It was a mixture of hazy heat and sweet temptation. JJ’s hips bucked as teeth nipped at the bone and the sensitive skin around it. As his hips met Ray’s jeans, JJ gnawed on his swollen bottom lip. He needed friction, something besides just teeth and tongue. 

With shaky fingers, he dragged the worn zipper of Ray’s jeans down. In response, Ray moved his hand to press into the pulse point and JJ’s adam apple. Swallowing hard, JJ watched as Ray kissed the corner of his lips before reaching for his own zipper. 

Pushing Ray backwards, JJ sat down on the polyester seats. Lifting his hips, he tugged his black skinny jeans down his legs. Kicking them off, he sighed to himself when his jeans refused to move an inch. Sitting up, he yelped when his head made contact with the ceiling of the car. Frowning, he turned to Ray and growled when the younger boy pointed at him and laughed.

"JJ, seriously?" he managed to say through his airy chuckles. JJ huffed as he managed to slide his jeans down his legs. Throwing them towards the general direction of the front of the car, JJ cursed himself for being awkward. It was just so different with Ray. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself. 

He was acting on instinct but with the moment of relaxation from their previous activities, he was finding that he truly did not know where to go beyond kissing. He did not want to hurt Ray in the slightest. He would never forgive himself for that. Before he could blink or push those thoughts back down, Ray was interlacing their fingers together and pulling him on to his lap. Ray’s presented body made those petty thoughts freeze entirely. 

"Fuck," JJ growled, a deep groan slipping from his throat when he saw Ray in only his boxers. Carding his fingers through the bundle of hair at the hem of the younger boy’s boxers, JJ moved his head until his teeth latched on to the elastic band. Tugging it down, he used his fingers to grip the ends of the younger boy’s boxers, effectively pulling them down and off his legs. 

A hand kneaded at his butt, making him crash against the younger boy’s freed erection like a tidal wave. The initial taste of friction made them seal their lips together. They panted into each other’s mouths, their hurried breaths mingling together. The taste and the friction was too much for them to handle. But they needed more like it was an essential part of surviving. They needed to quell the fire awakening inside them. 

Ray broke the kiss, narrowing his eyes at the fact that JJ was still wearing boxers. Tugging at the offended material, he forgot about JJ and his love for wandering fingers. JJ loved to observe but he also loved capturing. And what he captured was Ray’s hardened erection. 

"JJ shit," Ray nearly screamed. He could have came right then and there. JJ’s fingers were calloused from years of hard work, causing the skin to be rough against the sensitive flesh of his dick. As JJ’s fingers slowly worked him, Ray arched off the seat, effectively pushing himself further into JJ’s hold. 

Smirking, JJ twisted his wrist at the right angle, squeezing at the engorged flesh. As Ray panted and squirmed deliciously below him, JJ couldn’t help but observe the younger boy. 

His cheeks were painted with a gorgeous pink and his eyes were the darkest of storms. His hands were trembling against the seat belt, choosing to find purchase in the fact that he could pour all of his frustrations into crushing it in his fist. 

"God, you’re gorgeous when you can’t handle it," JJ murmured. Pressing a kiss to Ray’s navel, he slid down his hips and focused back on the flesh hardening in his hands. It was cut, the head exposed and slick with droplets of pre-cum. Digging his thumb into the slit, JJ smirked when Ray gasped. 

"JJ, please, anything. I need…," Ray trailed off. His voice was wrecked and his brain was swallowed whole by the pleasure pooling inside his body that he couldn’t fathom words let alone thoughts. All of his five senses were at JJ’s mercy. 

"Need what, babe? This?" Sliding his fingers along the underside of Ray’s cock, he leaned forward and dipped his tonnage into the slit. Ray keened, nearly screaming as JJ licked at the head and then at the veins that pulsated on the underside of his cock. "Baby, people will hear. You better keep quiet."

"JJ, please. I don’t care about people knowing. Just do something." Ray was lost and all he knew was that he needed JJ to anchor him, to make the pain of holding in his pleasure go away. 

JJ froze for a few seconds. Ray was not the first person that he had ever touched like this before but he certainly was the only one that he actually loved touching. He loved marking Ray but enough was enough. That would be for another day. 

"Stay here," JJ said. Crawling off of Ray, he moved to the center console. Flipping it open, he dug around until he found a condom and bottle of lube. "I only done this with girls, though, so I’ll go slow and try not to hurt you," he added.

When Ray didn’t respond, JJ turned around to see Ray nervously staring at the ceiling. It was odd to see him like that. How could he be shy with his dick resting on his stomach and eyes blown wide from desire?

"Okay," Ray finally answered. Frowning, JJ set the materials by Ray’s hip. Rubbing the tips of his fingers in smooth circles on Ray’s stomach, JJ shook his head.

"I’m the one that took you here. I should have asked if you wanted to do this. God…I just jumped at the chance of finally having you and I should have known that you would have been a virgin and that it’ll hurt and-." A warm hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him until he was resting against Ray’s stomach and at eye level with him. 

"What do you mean ‘finally having me’?"

And there, JJ fucked up. Ripping himself from Ray’s too warm grasp, he moved until he was sitting across from the younger boy. Pulling his knees to his chest, JJ frowned. 

"I’ve been kinda watching you over for a few weeks. I couldn’t help it. The way you talked out of the side of your mouth was adorable. Your morals were something that I wish I had. The way you take any challenge and try it with everything you have. The way that you play video games. Man, I wish I was that good. And all those things were what I saw first but then I noticed beyond all that. I saw your eyes and I know that people don’t go for people with brown eyes because they describe them as dull but yours are nothing but pools that swirl with so many colors. They always looked gorgeous when the light hit them just right. 

And your smile and laugh when you think something is honestly funny. And that sarcastic, witty, smart ass nature of yours drives me up a wall but I can’t help but find it endearing and funny. And just…everything Ray. I noticed everything but I couldn’t have you. When you walked up to me earlier, all I wanted was to lean over and kiss you but you beat me to it. My body took that as permission. And I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have forced you into anything.” 

"JJ," Ray whispered. His name falling from those lips that he had craved since day one made JJ snap his head up. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Ray mere inches away from him. A hand dipped into the hem of his boxers, teasing the skin and hair there. "You’re literally the sexiest fucking thing I ever laid eyes on and I want to tell you everything I love about you but please can you fuck me right now? I’m ready. Don’t worry about me backing out."

The pure look of bursting need overcoming Ray made JJ gingerly push Ray back until he was lying down. Kicking his boxers off, JJ grabbed the lube. Uncapping it, he paused, kissing Ray on the lips with a tender pressure that left Ray scrambling for more. 

"Hook your legs around my waist," JJ spoke. The deep rumble of his voice made Ray shiver as he lifted his legs, crossing his ankles against JJ’s spine. "There’s an old jacket on the floor there. Push it underneath your back and shuffle backwards until you’re leaning against the door." Ray did as he said, grabbing the jacket on the ground near him and pushing it behind his back. He then leaned back so that his butt was at the perfect angle for JJ to work with. "Perfect," he drawled. The sweet drawl was laced with a foreign twirl and it was then that Ray knew he was screwed. 

Squeezing at the bottle, JJ coated his fingers with lube. It dripped from his fingers as he warmed up the liquid. Wrapping one hand around Ray’s cock, he brushed Ray’s entrance with one slicked finger. 

"Focus on the hand on your dick, okay?" he coaxed. His hands trembled as Ray nodded. Nodding in time with him, he leaned down and molded his lips against his. Feeling Ray’s body relax against him, JJ smiled into the kiss. Tugging on Ray’s cock, he felt as the younger boy’s body arched against his stomach. Once the boy was distracted, he slipped the digit past the tight ring of muscles. 

"Goddamn," Ray winced, throwing his head back. 

"Hey, focus on me," JJ reminded. Lifting his hand from Ray’s cock, he slowly guided Ray’s head until he met his eyes. Winking at the boy, he pressed a kiss to the leaking head of his cock. His outward air of confidence made Ray relax against his hold. 

"Hurts though. JJ." As the boy whined his name in the worst way possible, JJ frowned. Ray felt like he was burning in the worst way possible. It wasn’t normal to stick things where they normally should not be. It felt like his body was being torn a part. He knew he wouldn’t be able to walk at all after this or even move at all. 

Shaking off his nerves, JJ teased his finger further past the ring of muscle until he was knuckle deep. Feeling Ray’s body grow rigid, he grabbed Ray’s cock with his free hand and guided it into his mouth. Sucking at the head, he tongued at the salty drops of pre cum. 

A hand suddenly gripped his hair, tugging at the strands. Groaning around the head of Ray’s cock, his one free hand moved to hold Ray’s hips down as Ray bucked into his mouth. 

"Oh, goddamn, JJ," Ray whimpered. Moving his mouth further down Ray’s cock, JJ slipped a second finger in. Curling both fingers upward, he thrust them inside Ray and out again in a fast paced rhythm. He knew Ray needed a third finger so he added the third, wincing when Ray stilled. A hand curling around his jaw forced him to let go of Ray’s cock. Swollen lips slammed against his own, swallowing the salty taste in his mouth and the moan stuck in his throat like a starving man. 

"I’ll go slow," JJ whispered against reddened lips. Ray rested his forehead on the older boy’s, smiling reassuringly. 

"Let me," Ray spoke. Grabbing the lube from the floor, he squeezed a generous amount into his palm. Rubbing his palms together to create enough friction to warm it, he wrapped his fingers around JJ’s cock. Spreading the lube around the engorged flesh, he reveled in the soft puff of breath against his ear and the heated press of lips against his collarbone. Biting his bottom lip, Ray yanked at JJ’s hair and leaned forward until his mouth was against his ear. "Fuck me now, JJ." A little nip against the sensitive flesh made JJ go into overdrive. He growled, deep and low in his chest. Ray nipped at the older boy’s ear again, licking along the shell of his ear and the fleshy lobe. 

"Goddamn it stop it or so fucking help me, Ray," JJ pleaded. His sweet begging made Ray desire more but right now was not the time. He needed JJ, needed everything he had to give to him. 

"Take me," Ray whispered in the older boy’s ear. His words made JJ wrap a hand around Ray’s cock, squeezing the head and digging his nail into the slit. The stimulation made Ray shudder, his body trembling. "I can’t take much more," he warned. 

"I won’t either," JJ agreed before moving both of his hands to knead into the flesh of Ray’s butt. Spreading his cheeks a part, he pressed the head of his cock against the sensitive ring of muscle. Almost slipping forward from nerves, JJ slowly eased his hips forward. 

Wrapping his arms around JJ’s neck, Ray let his head fall forward into the crook of the older boy’s neck. Squeezing his eyes shut, he willed his body to relax. He knew it was going to burn more than just fingers but he knew that there had to be enough pleasure to override the pain. A warm hand returned to his cock, using the pre-cum budding at the head to make gripping him at a faster pace easier. 

Sighing heavily, Ray lifted his head to press his lips softly against JJ’s. JJ moved with him, his lips sliding against the others in a soft dance like they were unsure of how to kiss the other or afraid of how the other would take it. Maybe it was soft because they couldn’t handle much more. They didn’t need fast paced or for it to be rough. Their pace was slow. Their pace was showing care through sexualized actions. 

As Ray slackened in his hold, JJ snapped his hips forward and sheathed himself inside the warm heat of Ray. Groaning against Ray’s neck, he panted. Ray was tight and the heat of him was sweltering. Too warm. It was fraying his nerves and destroying his heart. 

Ray arched against him, moans slipping from his mouth as he got used to the feeling of being filled in such an intimate, tender way. He had never felt such closeness with another human being. He knew how JJ tasted, how he acted, how he smelled, how he felt deep inside of him. Oddly enough, he never wanted to leave JJ’s arms. 

"Rock against me baby," JJ murmured as he began thrusting at a steady enough pace that Ray could stop him if needed. Shaking his head at an unspoken questioned, Ray pushed back against JJ’s thrusts until they set a rhythm together. Pressing their chests together, Ray marveled in how the beads of sweat pooling on their skin mingled together. Feeling JJ’s heartbeat pounding against his chest, he couldn’t help but beg for more. 

"More, JJ. I need you." Ray’s voice was so raw, it made JJ shiver as he met Ray’s request. Moving his hands to hold on to Ray’s upper thighs and hip, JJ slammed his hips into Ray. Ray barely had any time to recover before the older boy was switching the angle until he hit what they both needed. 

Ray never knew that fireworks could exist inside his body. 

It was the spark of a lighter. 

It was a firecracker. 

It was the flash of the sun during sunrise. 

It was the burst of light at the end of a tunnel. 

And it was all in the form of JJ. 

He had never been one to scream. He never thought himself as one but when JJ’s cock slammed straight into his prostrate, he couldn’t help but scream and whimper until JJ was covering his mouth in fear of being heard. Gripping at the fingers keeping him silent, Ray shook his head and nearly sobbed as JJ kept a steady pace, not missing a beat while Ray’s hips were stuttering at the weight of the pleasure. 

"Jose, te necessity," he mumbled. He cursed and wailed in Spanish, words tumbling from his lips as if he was in free fall. JJ nearly froze when he heard those enticing words uttered by the younger boy. His name in that wrecked tone of voice with his full name enveloped by his native tongue. If anything it made him slow down to hear Ray beg in that voice again. Quivering fingers pulled at his hair and desperate teeth latched on to his collarbone and then his ear. "Jose, más." That voice so close to his ear. JJ whimpered, pressing his lips against Ray’s, swallowing the boy’s desperate pleas. 

"Come for me, Ray. I know you’re close," JJ spoke. Sliding his hand down Ray’s belly, he tugged at Ray’s neglected cock. Slipping his fingers along the veins, he twisted his wrist and matched the pace of his hips. 

"Jose!" Ray whined, his body arching as his stomach twisted. He threw his head back, nearly hitting the window. His cock twitched in JJ’s hold and with one more sharp, calculated tug, Ray was coming in fast bursts. 

JJ cupped his head, gathering all he could in his palm and wiping it on his white tank top that was pooled on the floor. Kneading his fingers into the soft skin of Ray’s thighs, he smirked when he felt them tremble against him. With one final sharp yank and a suck to his earlobe, JJ slipped out of Ray and grabbed his tank top. Wrapping it around his cock, he came into the thin material. 

A hand grabbed him around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. Their mouths opened willingly to each other, tongues lapping at the addicting taste of each other’s mouth. Slipping his legs from around JJ’s back, Ray leaned back against the door and inhaled as much as he could. JJ moved to sit up, grabbing Ray’s legs and resting them on his lap. 

Glancing towards his jeans, JJ grabbed them and pulled the pack of cigarettes from his jean pocket. Before he grabbed one, though, a hand wrapped around his wrist. JJ stared into those brown eyes of the younger boy’s, smirking at his languid body, exhausted and thoroughly spent.

"I want you to lay down with me," Ray spoke. JJ smiled at the innocence painted on Ray’s features. Giggling softly, he kissed his cheek and then nuzzled his nose against the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of sweat and sex imprinted in his skin. 

"We can always head to my apartment and then cuddle," he suggested. Ray tilted his head to the side, body freezing as reality came crashing down around him. He noticed everything then with a sharpened clarity. 

He was in a school parking lot and when they left it was past the time that school ended. He needed to call Geoff to make him pick up so he could get home before his father did. And…and JJ was holding that damn pack of cigarettes. He loved the taste on the man and would even tolerate it but why would he need one after sex? Wasn’t he just as tired and slow with pleasure like he was? Wasn’t he enough? 

"No, I’ll go," Ray spoke shortly. His curt tone startled JJ. Digging into the pack of cigarettes for one, he watched Ray shift towards finding his clothes. 

"Ray, you won’t be able to move. Come on. Let’s go to my apartment and sleep," JJ tried. He was exhausted and he knew that he was shaky, Ray would be even more shaky. It was their first time not only together but in general. 

"Right after your cigarette, right?" Ray snapped as he grabbed his boxers from the front seat. Slipping them on, he winced when he could barely move his legs. It was like dealing with his foot whenever it fell asleep but he knew that this was not going to end in just a few moments. 

"Ray, it just helps me calm down," JJ spoke. He thought being honest would help. It wasn’t like he could just quite smoking randomly in the day. He needed time to slowly adjust and Ray had given him such a high, he needed a different one entirely in order to even think about sleeping. 

"No, I get it," Ray grumbled. 

"Ray, stay." JJ was pleading, begging. He had never wanted someone to stay with him in all of his life. He wanted Ray to stay more than his own parents. Grabbing his bag, he searched for a pen. As Ray’s hands zipped his jeans up, JJ took his hand and quickly scribbled his address on there. "Whenever you need it," he mumbled. 

Ray did not need his phone number and by the way he was running, he certainly would not want it. When Ray snatched his hand back, JJ knew he was gone. He had screwed up. He knew he would ruin it from the beginning. 

"No, stop. I’m done. You’re just like my fucking father. Say you’ll do shit and then throw it right back in my face." Ray was angry and in all the time JJ kept watch over him, he had never seen the boy frustrated beyond belief. So he sat there, utterly bewildered and hurt. When Ray’s jeans were zipped and his t-shirt was thrown on, pulled up even to cover up what JJ had done to his neck, JJ could do nothing but watch. But as Ray opened the door, he thought of one last thing. 

"I’m sorry I failed."

But it wasn’t like Ray was a camera. He couldn’t re-do the scene. He couldn’t change it, find ways to make it better. No, he failed Ray and with the final slam to the back door of his car, JJ was wholeheartedly lost and ashamed.


End file.
